NOTABLE QUOTABLES from

LIBERTY BELL AND THE LAST AMERICAN 

By James Stoddard

In this book, the heroine, Liberty Bell, and her traveling companion, Antonio Ice, meet a number of characters from the past. Much of their dialogue includes their actual quotes. Here are a few of them, along with other quotes from the book. Those quotations which I invented are in italics.

“In the days of the Founders, lightning destroyed whole cities; Pecos Bill the Stormchaser used to tame them, riding the winds on his winged stallion, Mobile.” —Liberty Bell

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“Don’t hit a man at all if you can possibly avoid it, but if you do hit him, put him to sleep.” —Teddy Roosevelt

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“We might see almost anything in the land of Lucy Anna: the Old Faithful One walked these woods, his breath blowing steam; the ancient mines, Carl’s Bad Caverns, are hidden here, long abandoned by Snow White and the 49ers. We might run across the White Sands of the Nuklars or the ruins of the Golden Arches.” —Liberty Bell

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“Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” —George Washington

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“True patriotism is never misplaced, Miss Bell. It is the love of country tempered by an unswerving passion for justice.” —Jesse James (not the one you’re thinking of)

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“If I could have convinced more slaves that they were slaves, I could have freed thousands more.”  —Harriet Tubman

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“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” —Thomas Edison

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“When we were kids, my dad used to tell us if we didn’t go to bed, Santa Claws would fly down from Canada and take us to the Twilight Zone.” —Antonio Ice